Treasuring Memories Into Words

The Meaning Behind My Name

2012-02-12T21:34:00.000-08:00

Here what came into me when I typed "DEBORA IRENE CHRISTINE" :)

"You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row.
You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace.
People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are full of energy. You are spirited and boisterous.
You are bold and daring. You are willing to do some pretty outrageous things.
Your high energy sometimes gets you in trouble. You can have a pretty bad temper at times.

You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.
You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.
At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.
You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.
A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.
Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.
You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.
You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life.
You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home.
You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble."

Fantastically FUN!

2012-01-29T10:00:00.000-08:00

So, today was gonna be the first day out for me and the NEW GANK IN TOWN!! Haha, I use this term ‘cause I don’t wanna bother spending too much time figuring what the suitable English word is.. So, I woke up on 5.30 am to get myself ready for today’s adventure. It reminded me of how I intended not to join today’s trip but still, I washed my hair first, in case that today would bring me another choice, which again would drive me to some kind of preparation, ‘cause I wanted my hair to be dressed for today.

So, my father took me to the station, and kind-heartedly gave me 100 thousand Rupiahs! Voila! Hahaa.. So, my early arrival at campus gave a chance to buy some things to eat on the journey. As usual, I waited for the others in Takor, as I was drinking my milk, listening to the music and arranging my agenda for days ahead.

Then, JJ, Imas and Alam came, gave me fresh hope that the others would come in a blink of an eye, which was totally wrong! Haha, due to the lateness of these members of the gank, we went from FISIP on 9.00 am. Mira and Ayash have already at the station.

The train went so fast that we could make it in Bogor at 10.00 am. Fadil, our today’s guide, made us gather in KFC, not so far from the station. We stood in front of KFC as we were waiting for the rain to stop and also the arrival of Singgih. So, at that time we had Affin the Boss, Reza the co-pilot, JJ the tour arranger, Iman, Imas, Singgih, Mizan, Fadil, Deo, Rahmi, Ayash, Mira, Julyan and Novi. We were still waiting for the good news from Ema who woke up late and couldn’t join us by then.

Despite the rain which poured heavily, we sticked to the plan. Fadil chartered a public vehicle which would take us to Cilember, Bogor, our destination! Yeay! Due to the number of the members and our body sizes (haha), we had to take extra time to arrange the seat to make sure that it would be comfortable for all of us ‘cause to reach Cilember we’d need time.

The angkot was full and the rain was still pouring outside, then you could imagine how uncomfortable it was for all of us. In order to pass the time, we made jokes of ourselves. Remembering that some of us have already got nickname given by Ema, the walking slang language dictionary (haha), we decided that all of us have to have one that could be used in the open recruitment day to confuse the oprec participants. J So, Mira got Mandy, Ayash got Fergie, JJ got Djanah, Affin got Djatmiko, Reza got Solihin, Singgih got Sugeng, Imas got Rosabel, Iman got Imron, Julyan got Leha, Novi got Soledad, Deo got Ben (Kasyafani J), Ami got Chacha, Mizan got Wahidin. LOL!!! J Our trip to Cilember was so full of laughters.

When we arrived at Cilember (after the angkot struggled to bring us hiking up from the ground), we’ve decided to eat first, due to the rain and the road waiting for us ahead which would take a lot of energy to walk on. On our way there, we found some interesting food that we couldn’t eat ‘cause we couldn’t leave the angkot unless we’ve arrived at Cilember. L So, there, in front of Cilember gate, we filled our empty stomaches, changed clothes, charged the cellphones, and did other kind of preparation. Fadhil joined us no longer after we arrived. He had been contacting Ema to pick her when she arrived in Bogor.

In spite of the heavy rain, we decided to enter Cilember’s gate right after the preparation was done. We used our umbrellas and bought the tickets. The entrance ticket was too expensive, 13 thousand Rupiahs, for God’s sake.. But, it was before we found out what kind of happiness and satisfaction we would get during and after the fantastic journey.

After taking about 10 minutes walking on the entrance road, there we found the heaven on Earth, the fountain of Cilember! It was not too high, not like what I expected, but I could imagine the glorious moment we would experience once we were on the water right beneath the fountain. J So, without taking too much time to wait, we put our umbrellas and bags, we didn’t care about the rain, and we climbed the rocks to get into the water. Imas, Julyan and Singgih made it first. And then Deo and I. It was sooooooooooooooooo freezing cold putting your feet into the water but it was sooooooooo fun! J Then, in a blink of an eye, we left Affin, Reza and Fadil down there to keep our things, hahaa, sorry, Guys.. I couldn’t resist the happiness showed in Imas, Julyan and Singgih’s eyes when they found out they were the first of us to be under the fountain, getting all of their bodies wet by the water. So, I decided to join, so were JJ, Iman, Mira, Ayash and Mizan. Novi, Deo and Rahmi didn’t get into the water ‘cause they didn’t bring their change clothes, I guessed.

We took so many photos, even when Affin and Reza joined us several moments later. Julyan made us curious of how it felt to be right under the fountain and get your body hit by it. So, all of us tried it. And only some of us could resist the power of the hits, including Julyan, Affin, Reza, Singgih and I. J Due to Fadil’s conviction that the fountain brings us what we wish, including lovers, some of us ridiculously tried it. Haha.. Just for fun..

After taking about and hour and a half getting ourselves wet by the water of the fountain and Fadhil was picking up Ema, we went out of the water and continued out journey, climbing the to the very top of the fountain. J The road was so hard to walk on due to the mud made by the rain, and the rocks. We found it so hard to go up and some of us even fell for a couple times.

Manusia Egois

2012-01-20T07:39:00.002-08:00

Aku tidak menulis supaya orang membaca tulisanku. Aku tidak menulis supaya aku ingat nantinya apa yang aku rasakan ketika aku menulis. Aku menulis untuk aku yang tidak punya cukup teman, cukup keberanian dan cukup kepercayaan untuk bercerita pada orang lain tentang segala macam emosi yang ada di dalam dada, baik yang terlihat dari raut wajah ataupun yang sama sekali tidak terdeteksi karena aku begitu pandai menutup semuanya dari orang lain.

Aku menusia egois. Teregois yg pernah dunia kenalkan padaku. Aku mau semua berjalan sesuai keinginanku dan menilainya tidak sempurna ketika tidak begitu. Salahkah aku begitu? Salahkah jika kekacauan yg orang lain sebabkan karena adanya kesalahan dalam eksekusi konsepku membuatku marah pada mereka?

Salahkah jika aku menyalahkan diriku dan kerap bertanya pada Tuhan mengapa selalu aku yang tidak diberi kesempatan yang paling aku inginkan? Mengapa selalu aku yang dikorbankan untuk tidak bisa menggapai hal-hal yang justru paling aku inginkan dalam hidupku?

Semakin aku dewasa, aku memberi kesempatan pada diriku untuk berpikir lebih banyak, untuk melakukan koreksi atas beberapa definisi penting dalam hidup yang sering kugunakan tapi justru terbukti salah saat ini. Definisi sahabat misalnya. Apakah benar ada yang namanya sahabat? Lebih penting lagi, punyakah aku seorang sahabat? Berhakkah aku punya sahabat?

Ketika memikirkan hal ini, pikiranku pasti langsung tertuju pada satu subjek. Salah satu subjek paling indah dalam hidup yang Tuhan boleh titipkan untuk jadi salah seorang paling dekat dalam hidupku. Salah satu subjek paling unik dan berkesan dalam hidupku yang pesonanya tak pernah termakan waktu atau tertelan habis di bawah gempuran penderitaan. Subjek indah yang selalu bisa membuatku belajar dan mengakui aku tidak ada apa-apanya disbanding dia. Subjek yang paling bisa membuatku bersyukur telah hidup dan bertemu dengannya. Subjek yang selalu bisa membuat tersenyum bahkan di kala badai kehidupan melanda silih berganti. Subjek yang selalu bisa membuatku hidup kembali karena selalu bisa menyadarkanku bahwa dia akan selalu ada di dunia untuk menjadi orang selalu lebih menderita dibanding aku tapi selalu berusaha tersenyum di balik semuanya. Subjek yang paling aku kagumi dari semua subjek lainnya yang pernah Tuhan kenalkan. Subjek yang menjadi sumber semangatku sejak hari pertamaku di bangku sekolah masa itu. Subjek yang sampai saat ini masih bersamaku entah karena rencana Tuhan yang bagaimana.

Jika boleh memohon pada Tuhan, aku akan minta biarkan dia tidak mengenal yang lain. Biarkan dia tidak punya teman lain selain aku. Aku memang egois. Semua untuk kepentinganku. Tapi itu yang kumau. Aku mau sinarnya hanya untukku. Aku mau jadi yang paling kenal dia. Aku mau jadi yang selalu dicarinya di setiap masa. Aku mau jadi tumpuannya di setiap kala. Aku mau jadi orang tempatnya selalu bertanya dan berbagi cerita. Dulu aku percaya aku hampir bisa jadi semua ini sampai datang dia yg menhancurkan segala impian dalam hidupku.

Tapi yang selalu aku pertanyakan padaMu, Tuhan, mengapa biarkan orang yang sama, orang yg baru ketemui sejak aku memulai jejakku pada realita dunia, merebut semua hal yang paling kuinginkan? Inikah rencanaMu? Memplotnya dalam hidupku sebagai orang yg harus paling kubenci? Sebagai orang yg harus selalu kuwaspadai pencapaiannya? Sebagai orang yg hampir selalu ada di dekatku dan hampir selalu berhasil mem buatku sesak napas karena harus menyimpan semua dengki dan jengkel di dalam dada? Sebagai orang yang selalu berhasil membuat orang lain ingin mendengarkan terlebih dahulu apa yang dia katakan dibanding aku? Sebagai orang yang selalu berhasil membuat orang lain terlebih dahulu dan lebih nyaman bercerita kepadanya dibanding kepadaku? Sebagai orang yang selalu berhasil membuatku merasa aku yang paling sampah di mana pun dia berada?

Kenapa dari sinar matahariku, tempat yang paling kuinginkan sampai lensa hidupku harus direbut dariku olehnya? Kenapa semuanya harus tersentral padanya? Kenapa orang-orang yang kuharapkan mengandalkanku justru mengandalkannya? KENAPA?

Selalu kutanyakan itu pada Tuhan, dalam hati saja, dalam tangis tengah malam, dalam perjalanan pulang setelah seharian harus menahan semuanya, dalam gelapnya malam saat semua sudah tertidur, dalam doa-doaku, dalam tiap langkah sendiriku.

Dan saat ini, saat aku sudah mengambil salah satu langkah lagi dalam hidupku, aku kembali bertanya. Sudah kuambil salah satu keputusan yang membuat satu tahunku tidak akan berjalan sesuai dengan yang kurancang, sesuai dengan ambisi yang kususun ketika aku masuk ke sini. Aku memilih menjadi sesuatu yang tidak kuinginkan, tidak kusukai, di tempat yang kuinginkan. Tempatnya tepat, beberapa orang di tempat ini pun sesuai ekspektasiku, tapi tidak urutannya, tidak susunannya. Tidak begini yang kumau, tidak begini yang kuharapkan, tidak untuk hal begini aku memutuskan untuk kembali berkorban!

Karena kalau begini susunannya, kalau begini penempatannya, lagi-lagi aku tidak akan didengar, lagi-lagi kalau ada dia di tempat yang kuinginkan, aku tidak akan jadi yang diandalkan, aku tidak akan dijadikan telinga pertama. Kalau begini, AKU HANYA AKAN JADI PELENGKAP STRUKTUR YANG MENURUT ORANG LUAR JIKA TANPAKU AKAN TERLIHAT CACAT PADAHAL TIDAK! Aku tidak mau yang begini.

Aku cukup tau aku punya kapabilitas untuk jadi yang lebih dari ini, tapi mereka tidak memberikan aku kesempatan untuk itu. MEREKA LEBIH PERCAYA DIA YANG BISA, BUKAN AKU. Aku mereka libatkan hanya untuk pelengkap, hanya untuk membuat mereka merasa lega karena kewajiban untuk melibatkanku sudah terpenuhi. Pada intinya, mereka cuma butuh dia. Dia yang paling penting dalam pergulatan baru ini. BUKAN AKU. Selalu bukan aku.

Dilibatkan begini aku hampir yakin 100% aku tidak akan dapat apa’’, kemampuanku akan segini-segini saja padahal pengorbanan yang harus aku berikan berlipat ganda dari yang kalian berikan, dari yang dia berikan. Totalitas yang aku lakukan membutuhkan pengorbanan yang luar biasa dahsyat. Kamu tidak tahu! Kalian tidak tahu! Karena aku selalu tersenyum. Karena aku selalu hampir berhasil menyimpan semuanya. Karena aku selalu berhasil membuat kalian beranggapan semua yang ada padaku aman-aman saja, tak ada yang salah terjadi pada hidupku. Kalian tidak tau akulah yang berusaha keras membuat kalian berpikir begitu. Akulah yang setengah mati mempertahankan semua yang ada padaku agar selalu terlihat baik-baik saja. Karena itu yang kalian harapkan! Itu yang kalian mau! Tak akan kalian bersamaku kalau ada hal yang tidak beres padaku! Kalau ada yang terlihat tidak bisa aku tangani.

Kalau begini, Tuhan, bolehkah aku untuk satu kali ini saja dalam hidupku menarik kembali apa yang pernah kukatakan? Bolehkah aku untuk satu kali ini saja menghapus semua harapan yang pernah terbentuk di benak mereka atas apa yang kujanjikan bisa kulakukan? Bolehkah aku untuk kali ini saja memutuskan untuk melupakan apa yang pernah kupilih ini dan memilih jalan yang lain? Karena aku sudah terlalu lelah. Aku hampir gila. Aku hampir bisa membunuh jiwaku sendiri kalau aku mempertahankan untuk berada di sini saat ada dia. Aku hampir berhasil membuat perjuangan orang tuaku selama 20 tahun ini sia-sia saja karena aku hampir putus asa.

Jadi, Tuhan, bolehkah kali ini saja aku benar-benar menampakkan diriku sebagai manusia yang paling egois yang dunia dan diriku sendiri kenal?

Candu

2011-12-09T10:02:00.000-08:00

Dulu aku yang paling juara

Seluruhnya dilakukan dengan penuh suka cita

Tak peduli ada yang tak suka

Selama masih akan ada senyum menyambut di ujung mata

Mereka yang tahu aku bahagia melakukannya

Berharap akan selalu seperti dulu

Tapi apa daya

Sekarang sudah lelah

Lelah jiwa

Lelah raga

Lelah mata

Lelah telinga

Sulit bernapas

Sulit tertawa lepas

Sulit tersenyum puas

Lingkaran ini dulu milik aku, kamu, dia

Sekarang ada mereka

Kalian coba buat mereka menggantikan tugasku

Karena aku kalian nilai tidak lagi mampu

Kalian dulu butuh aku

Sekarang tidak

Aku suka diandalkan

dan sangat benci ketidaktahuan

Tapi kalian tidak lagi mengandalkanku

dan aku kini jadi yang paling tidak tahu

Ketika terdesak

Kalian coba buat aku ikut tersedak

Padahal aku sudah di luar lingkaran

Padahal aku sudah coba tutup harapan

Padahal aku sudah coba untuk korbankan

Aku takkan sanggup lagi untuk lanjutkan

Sudah terlalu penuh kantung air mataku

Hati sudah terlalu membusuk

Senyum sudah sangat sulit terbentuk

Mari, akhiri saja

Kau urus bagianmu

Mereka urus bagian mereka

Aku urus milikku

Tidak usah saling mengusik

Jangan pula berbisik-bisik

Biarkan aku tak tahu

Biarkan angin saja yang menjadi media

Aku harap aku akan terbiasa

Terbiasa mengacuhkan sedih yang menjadi candu

SLR

2011-12-09T10:00:00.002-08:00

sudah kukalkulasi
walaupun masih prediksi

ini mungkin malam ke-230 sejak malam itu
sejak aku belajar darimu
tentang sesuatu

hal yg biasanya mengendap layaknya batu dalam diriku

rasa iri, rasa dengki
rasa dendam
rasa kekalahan, rasa tak diberi kesempatan

rangkaian rasa yg membusukkan hati
melelahkan mata menahan lelehan air dr dalamnya
menidurkan jiwa kebersamaan yg seharusnya sdh tertanam dan mendarah daging
memenangkan egoisme dari yg lain
melahirkan tendensi selalu menyalahkan org lain

Aku yg dulu
akan berusaha mengulum senyum meski batin ini siapa yg tau

Aku yg dulu
akan mengumbar tawa ria meski hati ini tercabik-cabik

Aku yg dulu penuh pura-pura
asal yg lain gembira
tak perlu berduka

itu aku yg dulu
sebelum malam itu

sebelum tanpa sadar kau ajarkan aku
untuk gunakan kaca pembesar melihat dunia

'kaca pembesar itu ada di hati' kata hatimu padaku

tanpa kau ucapkan
aku tau

kau ceritakan semua
kecewa, tidak berdaya, tawa terpaksa
amarah, tangis pecah
pengorbanan, harapan

semua

tanpa kau tahu
ceritamu mengubahku
luapan emosimu menggelitikku

untuk bertanya pada hati sendiri
'sudahkah aku berusaha sedemikian hebat kalahkan diri sendiri?'
'sudahkah aku lakukan yg terbaik hingga patut bersedih atas kegagalanku?'
'sudahkah aku demikian tulus dan mengesampingkan egoku?'

malam itu bimbang memenuhi benak
emosi membuncah membentuk riak

kalau malam itu lengang
ku jamin aku pasti teriak

merasa bersalah
merasa bodoh
karena sudah habiskan sekian detik berharga untuk membenci
karena sudah biarkan otak jadi tumpul dipenuhi caci maki

bukannya berusaha temukan jalan keluar alternatif

kemudian jadi bimbang, ragu,
takut malu,
merasa kurang berilmu,
masih harus lebih lama menunggu

untuk putuskan ambil jalur yg lain di simpangan itu

untuk putuskan tidak gunakan jalur yg biasanya di simpangan itu

kau yg ajarkan
kau yg perlihatkan

adanya kemungkinan

panorama lain yg bisa kupandang
dr yg biasa kukagumi

angin semilir lebih sejuk
dr yg biasa kunikmati

tapi aku terlalu terbuai
tanpa sadari

itu semua CUMA KEMUNGKINAN

tdk ada bukti validnya
semua cuma kau punya hipotesa

tapi tak mengapa
bukan kau punya salah
hanya aku tak cukup peka
untuk lihat semua bisa berubah

terima kasih sudah jadi kamera SLR-ku

terima kasih sudah perlihatkan sisi lain kehidupan padaku :
emosi kreatifmu untuk peristiwa macam itu

terima kasih sudah jd air yg bantu
lunakkan kekerasan hati layaknya batu

jadi,
jika kau lihat aku ragu
ingatkan aku kisah itu
jika kau lihat aku sendu
ingatkan aku cara tertawa merdu
jika kau lihat aku gundah
jangan lantas kau ikut susah
jika kau lihat aku lelah
ingatkan aku di akhir kita pasti tuai hasil melimpah

Tuhan berikan mandat
pasti takkan Ia tinggalkan kita sendirian berjalan tersendat

ingatkan aku untuk selalu lihat dengan hatiku
ingatkan aku untuk selalu gunakan SLR-ku

ingatkan aku akan ada tawa
mungkin dengan derai air mata

nanti, di akhir semuanya

*for my own SLR who always helps me define the world much clearer than I can do by myself.

Semburat Maaf dan Terima Kasih yang Belum Tersirat

2011-12-09T10:00:00.001-08:00

ini sebenarnya sebuah surat
representasi hati yang belum menguat
untuk ucapkan langsung padamu tanpa menunggu keadaan darurat

jadi kusampaikan saja sekarang
siapa tau esok belum dapat kupegang

kau layaknya bola plastik karet

bulat
selalu memantul
tidak stagnan

bebas
tidak terikat

bisa ditangkap
bisa dijerat
tapi hanya fisikmu
tidak jiwamu
tidak pikiranmu

kau bermain ke kutub di utara dan di selatan
tapi selalu atas maumu
tak pernah karena mau orang lain

karena kau tau kau punya mau
karena kau tau kau punya rasa
karena kau tau kau yang pegang kendali
atas dirimu
kadang juga atas orang lain di sekitarmu

pemilihan kutubmu pernah mengecewakan orang lain
tak jarang pula membuat takjub sebagian lainnya

kau mungkin tak sadar
karena bola karet plastik tak dilengkapi radar

pikiranmu, kata-katamu
banyak menghantuiku
juga beberapa orang di sekitarku

tidak dalam cara yang menyeramkan
kadang menyenangkan
karena kau bak memberikan penerangan
pada kami yang dilanda kegelapan
tak tahu mau ikut arus kehidupan yang mana

meski tak jarang kau paksakan
kehendak kau patrikan
dalam kami punya benak

tapi tak apa
aku tak menolak
yang lain pun belum

kau bola karet plastik
dengan corak sangat menarik

lebih sering kau tak sadar
lagi-lagi karena tak punya radar

corakmu memikat begitu banyak orang
membuat takjub sampai kami buka lebar kami punya rahang

kau jenius
kau sejatinya politikus
kau mungkin ada beberapa poin minus
tapi di mataku akal bulusmu justru jadi poin plus

kau penyayang
terlalu baik terkadang
jarang kau meradang
padahal bisa saja kami kau tendang

kau menginspirasi
lebih sering tidak kau sadari
kau kira kami lebih kagum pada rumput tetangga dibanding rumput rumah kita yang kau tanam sendiri
padahal kami sering sekali berbangga diri
punya kau untuk kami

kau pelipur sendu
pembasuh rasa malu
sumber semangat kami selalu

kau katakan kami yang terbaik
tak ada yang bisa melakukan apa yang kami lakukan dengan lebih baik

itu saja cukup untuk kembali
membakar api perjuangan di dada kami
menyematkan senyum semangat di bibir kami
memperkuat kepalan tangan dan pijakan kaki kami

untuk berjuang kembali
meski banyak yang mencaci
tak jarang juga yang memaki
menyimpan kesal dalam hati
serta mengutuki kami

kau ajarkan 'terima kasih' adalah obat penawar luka yang hebat khasiatnya

'untung ada kalian' tak kalah mujarab

tapi senyum tulus mereka
terkadang air mata bahagia
bukan hanya obat penawar luka
tapi vitamin kehidupan yang tak dijual di toko
karena tak ada obat lain yang sepadan

obat termahal sekalipun

kau selalu di sana
selalu paling pertama siap sedia di garis start
temani kami berlari sepanjang lintasan mandat
menunggu dengan tangan terbuka di garis finish karena sampai paling cepat

terima kasih
untuk selalu ada
untuk mengorbankan waktu, tenaga dan pikiran yang kau punya

terima kasih telah ikut sertakan aku dalam kau punya keluarga
pasti selalu kujadikan harta
kenangan dan kekayaan batin luar biasa ini semua

maaf kalau sering mengecewakan
menambah daftar masalah yang dengannya kau harus berhadapan
menorehkan kata dan luka yang harusnya tak termaafkan

terima kasih
maaf

Nyanyian Rumput untuk Matahari

2011-12-09T09:57:00.000-08:00

Aku rumput
Butuh cahaya matahari untuk hidup
Dulu aku dapat banyak siraman melimpah
Karena matahari paling sayang padaku
Asupan karbon dioksida ku pun cukup
Tanah tempat kutumbuh gembur
Tapi aku paling sayang matahari, seperti dia menyayangiku

Tapi sekarang tidak lagi
Matahari dapatkan rumput lain yang lebih disayanginya
Dia tidak lagi mau memberikanku cahaya

Rumput itu pun sering cerita padaku lewat angin
Kisahnya dengan matahariku
Dia harap aku tidak marah padanya dan matahari
Dia minta aku cari matahari lain supaya aku bisa tetap hidup
Aku bilang iya pasti aku dapatkan
Aku bilang tenang saja, tolong jaga matahari baik-baik, ya

Tapi aku tidak bisa cari matahari baru
Hanya dia matahariku
Banyak matahari-matahari kecil menyapaku, menawarkan cahayanya padaku
Tapi aku tidak mau
Aku tidak bisa

Tapi tiap kali matahariku itu menyapaku, menanyakan kabarku
Aku tersenyum, aku bilang aku baik-baik saja
Aku bilang semoga ia baik-baik juga
Aku tidak bilang aku tidak bisa tumbuh tanpa cahayanya
Aku tidak perlihatkan bahwa aku mulai layu
Dan dia pun senang

Aku rumput
Butuh cahaya matahari untuk hidup
Tapi aku kehilangan matahariku
Aku juga tidak lagi menghirup karbon dioksida
Tanahku mulai rusak
Dan aku mulai layu
Aku mulai mati

Puzzling

2010-07-15T01:07:00.000-07:00

Yeah, my life these days can possibly be described as puzzling, 'cause I've been doing all random things for, I don't know, how long. I don't really understand who I am right now, what I really want and to what extent I can survive this way. I just keep doing all the same things day to day with my mind keeps on 'puzzling mode'.

I'm no longer the person who used to be 'all-must-be-written-down-type'. Well, this is strange! 'Cause in the old days, due to my short-term memory, I keep bothering myself and the others by taking notes whenever and wherever I think something's important.

But, overall, this doesn't really bother me 'cause I don't really like being the same person from day to day. I like having different character sometimes as long as it doesn't have significant impacts on my life. This way, I will finally be able to consider to choose my own best ways in doing things...

Now For Forever???

2010-03-18T20:26:00.001-07:00

Makan di KFC Sambil Nunggu Hujan Reda, Siap2 u/Ngamen

"Selamat Pagi, Lela!!!"

Nyampah di MBRC Sambil Nunggu Waktu Pulang

Habis Latihan u/Persiapan Merebut Kembali Ketua Angkatan (haha)

Cari Dana u/KomNite (Nonton di TV1)

...and I'm wondering whether these wonderful moments will last forever, and if not, how long they will stay in my mind and in my heart...

Best thing I've ever been granted are you guys... Proud to have known you...

Kelas SPI

2010-03-18T19:56:00.000-07:00

Wahahahahaha, sial juga nih Mas Boni Botak, kelas SPI tambahannya tiba2 jadi gak ada karena dia sakit... Dan dia baru ngasih tau kalo dia sakit jam setengah 10!!!! Padahal kita udah stand by dari jam 8, planga-plongo kayak orang bego!!! Dan di sinilah aku terdampar sambil menyampha di blog.. Hahahahah... Biasanya ngisi blog kalo ada yg bener2 penting ato moment2 seru, tapi ini pertama kalinya gua nyampah... Hahaha...

Semoga Mas Boni cepet sembuh dan soal UTS nya gampang dan yg paling penting BISA GUA KERJAIN SEMUA!!! Makanya jangan sok sibuk malang melintang di TV, Mas... Gak numbuh2 kan tuh rambut... SOK KEREN SIH!!!

So Glad To Have Known You, Guys!!!

2010-01-25T05:11:00.000-08:00

Dear God,

I really thank You for letting me know my friends in Komunikasi 2009 especially those who have been with me passing the last wonderful unforgetable 6 months joining Spectacomm, Prasar dan SAR.. They are the most valuable friends You've ever made for me. They made me do what the-old-me wouldn't do, try the things what the-old-me wouldn't even try to consider, say what the-old-me wouldn't say without thinking for several times and think what the-old-me wouldn't think about. I'm so sure I'm not the only one who feel this way.

I don't really remember when the first time we met each other was and what kind of impression I had for each person in Komunikasi 2009. August 24th, 2009 was the first time we wore our cool uncommon 3D nametags which we made in Asrama UI (one of our favorite spots in UI we used to do our tasks). At that time our leader was still Ryan Hasri, but now we have a stronger leader, whom I use to call Ko A Sun or Mr.Chairman, Winchan. We're very proud of our leader!!

As time went by, one by one walked out from Spectacomm due to different reasons. And there we were, 72-left-persons (hahaha...is that the right phrase???) passing every single day memorizing our songs, yells and the database of our friends, exercising the moves, thinking of fresh ideas for our parodies and TV Show programs, creating reasons for the absences of our friends, making arguments and sooooooooooo on...

We have Komunikasi 2009's book, songs, yells, groups' greetings, ads parodies, TV Show, Komdance and Komboys, personal greetings and many more... We've done alumnus' interviews, company visits, Komnite, making reviews, buka bersama, riding yellow buses, mentoring and soooo on...

And the most important days were on January 23rd-24th, 2010.. We spent those days in FISIP non-stop in order to struggle for the last time for our inauguration.. We've walked from post to post to meet our seniors, to let them know ourselves and to know them much better, to perform what we've got and of course to entertain them... Some of the members of every group got their nametags taken by the seniors and felt veeeerrrry bad about that. After visiting 5 posts every group came back to our camp and took a rest for a while. On 4 a.m. (if I'm not mistaken) we were woken up and told to gather in Teko. There, waiting for us, our seniors from different generation. Kak Bobby announced that all of us have graduated from SAR and automatically became the members of HMIK, but Kak Wigra walked up to the stage and told us that only those whose nametags weren't taken by the seniors could graduate. Every way we tried to make them reconsider 'cause we wanted all of us to graduate. We followed Winchan's instruction to keep singing them our yell in the loudest voice we could. I still remember that I feel hopeless yet unable to give up that way, that I had to make them admit how solid Komunikasi 2009 is. That's why I sang our yell loudly, but my tears came down (hahahahaha, maybe because of my mixed emotion). And all of a sudden, I heard a sound in the sky, and it was the sound of fireworks! My tears kept dropping, even heavier than before... WE SUCCEEDED!! We're now the members of HMIK!!! Hahahahaha... Finally after spending some times pouring pond water into each other we took pictures with our best seniors, Komunikasi 2007!! Love you, guys!! Thank you for spending your time with us!!!

Thank You for giving me the chance to know them, to learn about them day by day not instantly. Hope that every drop of tears and sweats, every laughter, every idea, every story, every suggestion, every critic, every burden and every little thing we've shared will always remind us of the moments we've passed together and eventually will always remind us that we have each other, that we are a family...

Santa Clause HAS COME To MY HOUSE

2009-12-27T18:55:00.000-08:00

Well, actually there's nothing special in this year's Christmas time, but is was a happy moment that I've spent with my family. I feel sorry for some of my friends who couldn't celebrate Christmas with their family...

Two As One

2009-12-08T23:33:00.000-08:00

By : Cystal Kay & Chemistry

Uh baby kimi no soba ni iru to
Fuwari karada ukabu you de
Kawasu kotoba mo kumo no ue oyogu no
I know I’m in a dream now
Kimi no koto shiri takute
Dakedo kimochi wa kike nakute
Kono mama ja mou tomodachi ijou ni wa
nare nai ka na?
Itsuka my love
Koibito ni my love to you
Ashita koso wa kitto

*Kimi ni kimi ni kono omoi wo tsutae you
Ima kokoro no mama
Kono negai ga kanau no nara itsumademo
for you aishi tsuduke you

uh baby yon-shuukan to three days
Kimi wa denwa sae kikazu ni
Futarikiri da to hanashi mo tsuduka nai
maybe you have a girlfriend
Yoake no tsuki no you ni
Te no hira sukuu mizu no you ni
Kieteku mae ni konna ni suki na koto
Todoke takute itsumo my love
Mitsumeteru my love to you
Konya koso wa kitto

**Kirakira meku kono omoi wa kaze ni nori
Ima ai ni yuku yo
Kono negai ga kanau toki wa dokomademo
with you kakete yukeru kara

Kokoro yobi au shunkan ni
Futatsu no ai wa hitotsu ni naru darou

*Repeat

**Repeat

Kakete yukeru kara

What Are Friends For??

2009-12-08T03:16:00.000-08:00

Jadi, sekali lagi gua bertanya, apa gunanya kita punya temen, temen akrab bahkan kalo salah satu fungsinya adalah bukan sebagai tempat curhat pribadi kita, sekaligus sbg pihak yg bisa kita mintai advice kalo kita lagi dilema?????

Kenapa kita malah milih org lain u/curhat masalah yg sangat personal sekaligus peristiwa yg pertama kali seumur hidup kita??? Kenapa temen yg udah lama justru kita gak percayain sbg tempat kita keluh kesah dan bukan hanya jadi temen di kala seneng????

Apakah periode waktu yg udah dilaluin bareng2 segitu gak pentingnya kalo dibandingin dengan temen yg baru kita kenal (walaupun kita udah cukup kenal baik)???? Kenapa temen lama justru jadi orang kesekian yg tau rahasia temennya sendiri???

So, what are friends for?????

Aaaaa, Wanna See His Concert!!!

2009-11-19T00:51:00.001-08:00

So, I've said that for I-don't-know-how-many-times!!! YamaP will soon hold his first solo concert in Japan!!! Wow, he's finally showing how great he is in reaching his dreams!! That's actually one of the reasons why I love him so much : he has big dreams and he's not only dreaming but he always makes his way in order to make his dreams come true!!!

He'll hold his concert in three days started from November 23rd. His promotion posters are now available to see in every side of Shibuya!! There are several cool posters hung there! He even released his promotion album with three different packages... Every song contained in his album is sooooooo different than the songs he used to sing!!! That even makes me become more eager to see his concert, but due to financial problem (how can I get so much money easily??), I can't...T_T

Komunikasi '09 Bravo!!!

2009-09-15T22:48:00.000-07:00

Most of the people I know often say that as you go to another new place, you'll get another new story to start...And that's exactly happening to me right now!!
I love my new environment, my new friends, my new seniors, my new life!!!

I'd never thought that campus life would be this fun!!! I can go wherever I wanna go without being restricted by anything else (except my campus schedule)!!!

LOVE THIS NEW LIFE!! THANK GOD YOU'VE GIVEN ME SUCH A PRECIOUS OPPURTUNITY!!!^^

Logo Kelompok PSAF

2009-08-15T05:34:00.001-07:00

Teman2, tadi para ketua kel.PSAF dikumpulin dlm rangka p'beritahuan tambahan tugas, yaitu :
- membubuhkan logo, nama dan tag line angkatan & kel.PSAF di cover scrap book
nah, khusus u/LOGO angkatan gak harus dibuat dgn tangan (bsk gua ksh tau LBnya). Jadi, tiap anak FISIP bakal dapet gambar logo angkatan yg tinggal tempel di sebelah kiri scrapbook, di bwh jepitan. Besok gua kasih k kalian, udah di double tape, tinggal tempel.

Untuk nama dan tagline angkatan, kalian harus tulis sendiri, ditempatkan di samping logo. jadi, sisakan space di kiri atas kertas skitar 6x6cm. nah kasih jarak kira2 2 atAu 3 cm dari situ, kalian tulis :

GARUDA ESA (lbh gede dari tagline)
Bersatu!
Berani!
Bertanggung jawab!

Di pojok kiri bawah cover, kalian bertugas buat logo kel.kita dgn ukuran kyk gini :

tulisan shock nya biasa aja juga gak apa2, gk usah yg macem2 (jgn dikasih kotak logonya, krn emang gak pake). skitar 3 cm dari logo, tulis tagline kita :

SHOCK!(lbh gede dikit dari tagline)

Smart.High-spirited.Objective.Caring.Knowledgable.

logo diwarnai dgn spidol biru (yg biasa, bkn yg muda). kalo gak punya, bsk gua bawa jadi bisa diwarnain sblm ngumpulin tugas ke gua. warna tulisan u/logo &tagline kel.biru. u/logo&tagline angkatan hitam.

U/kalian yg belum belajar yel2 kelompok, bsk kita ajarin, gampang kok kalo kalian bisa nada lagu naik delman!!! ok???!!!!

kalo ada yg masih bingung by SMS aja!!! Thank you!!!

Missing Them So Much

2009-05-29T00:39:00.000-07:00

Well, so this is the first time that I feel I don't like holidays at all, 'cause this is the first time I can't see my friends (school friends, I mean) for more than a month...
I used to wait for long holiday, but not for this time!! Realizing that we'll soon graduate makes me want to spend much more time with them by laughing, telling jokes, gossiping, telling them the latest news from my super boyfriend, YamaP (hahahaha) and so on... Just simple things... As long as we do those activities together it'll be okay, for sure... Soon we'll have to go and step on our own paths and reach our own dreams, trying hard to make all of dreams come true... For me it always feels like I've just begun my high school life yesterday or some days before, but the truth that I have to face is that I've been a high school student for 3 years, and I have to go to university!!!
Oh God, there have been so many memories we've created so far, both sad and happy memories... Knowing that I'll meet my wonderful friends at school always grows my spirit to go there happilly... Hope that we'll always keep in contact though we're seperated by distance...^^

Mada Owarimasen desu!!! Doushou???!!!

2009-01-30T21:14:00.000-08:00

Maa, puropozu to ka paper to ka UEE no tame ni benkyou suru koto mo mada owarimasen desu!!!
Doushou??? Aaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!! SIMAK UI mo ima motto chikaku ni natte desu!!! Jikan ga tomaru kiti ga dekimasu you ni...

Mou...seishun mo sugu owarimasu yo!!! Doushou??? Otona ni naru koto ga kowaii desu, hontouni... Kodomo no toki kara, mukashii kara, kaeritai desu!!!

Dareka tasukete kudasai!!! T_T

Falling For Someone Wasn't Expected

2009-01-27T20:39:00.000-08:00

Well, here's the story...

His name is Wellyanson Situmorang, or he's just simply called Welly. He's a basketball player who plays for SatriaMuda BRItama. He's my friend's idol. I'd looked him in my friend's photos collection. She adores him almost the way I adore YamaP (that's what I think)...
Though she had shown me his pictures over and over again, I still couldn't find anything interesting about him except the fact that he's so tall (188, you think?)!

Welly : looks good this way

On Saturday January 24th my friends and I came to IBL (Indonesia Basketball League) which was held in Senayan to see SM against Garuda Bandung... Well, I still didn't have any special intention to watch the game, but my friends and I had something to do with Welly which I can't tell here (someday I will)...

I saw him, there, on the field... And suddenly I felt like bewitched by his charm...
It just happened like that. Nothing special he did that made me feel that way... NOTHING...
I'd just realized that he's much better than on the photos.
And his smile... Oh My God... How come a Bataknese posses such a wonderful smile!!! Unfortunately, he smiled to his girlfriend prior to the game started.

SatriaMuda BRItama Squad

I saw his girlfriend with other girlfriends of the players... She's adorable : pretty, tall, slim, stylish (seemed like a model for me).

I saw his every movement and got the fact that he seemed such a hot-tempered man when he played basketball... SM won the game with 88-84 (if I'm not mistaken).

After the game finished my friends and I took pictures with the players...
And...you know what??? He put his hand on my shoulder!!!! OMG!!! Can you believe it???
Huh, but he did that to every fan who wanted to take pictures with him...

Welly & I (so tall, isn't he???)

Ok, lesson I learnt that day :
there are so many handsome adorable Bataknese in Indonesia... I just didn't realize it before (or didn't admit it)...

New idols :
Wellyanson Situmorang (Welly), Bonanza Siregar (Bona), Christian Ronaldo Sitepu (Dodo)

Dodo & Us

Kartul Test Is Just OVER!!! Yokatta!!!

2009-01-27T20:20:00.000-08:00

Finally, it's over.... I'm so glad that one of my burdens has just lost...
Well, still, so many things are waiting to be done in front which means no time to take a really long break. Let me see...started from the closest...hmmm... I still have :
1. NUS UEE (University Entrance Exam)
2. SIMAK UI
3. UAN
4. UAS
5. ????

Oh, I almost forgot that I have TOEFL-iBT test result to be announced... I think I didn't do my best, but, still, I hope He'll give me much more than I hope...

I need to take my BTA classes more seriously 'cause as much as I know almost everyone in the class is smart... Well, honestly speaking, I don't agree with the term "SMART" to be used here... I think this test (TO) needs luckiness much more than cleverness... Is there anyone agree with me???

Hurry, Christmas Come!!!

2008-12-22T20:36:00.000-08:00

Well, HOLIDAYS!!! Yeay!!! Though I supposed to be enjoying my holidays, but I still feel under-pressure.. Don't know why, but probably its because I haven't got the university where I will continue my study at... But, I won't let my confuse long...I'll spend my time by watching videos, reading novels, going to any places, mastering Japanese (this is really fun!), browsing internet... and sooooo...on!!!

But, everywhere I go, YamaP is still my priority... So, he's always in my heart no matter cool handsome boys surround me!!! He'll be so lonely if I'm not by his side...Wakakakakak!!!! ^^

If only I could wish to Santa, I would definetely include these wishes :
1. Study abroad with scholarship (preferably in Japan)
2. Marry YamaP
3. Make my parents' dreams come true
4. Help my brothers to get scholarship
5. Travel around the world
6. Build schools for the poor all aver the world
7. Master at least 5 languages (excluded English, Indonesian, and Japanese)
8. Have 3 children (preferably 2 sons and 1 daughter)
9. Still many more... ^^

Here, I put his picture... Looks cool but lonely...

Yappari, Kakkoi Otoko Wa Doko Mademo Imasu!!!

2008-10-06T01:30:00.000-07:00

Well, it was such a pleasant holiday last week, though I didn't go anywhwere... The point is I could enjoy my holiday by doing sleep-over, watching DVDs, reading novels and stuff...
Moreover, I finally realized that there are so many handsome boys in this world who could really poison me only in one sight...
OMG!!! I was so blind due to my total adoration to YamaP... Though those boys are undoubtedly cute, handsome, cool and talented, I dare say that none of them will ever change YamaP's position in my heart, 'cause he's just too adorable to be described...

Those boys are : 1. Satoshi Tsumabuki (I wish I had words to be used to describe this man), 2. Derby Romero (???), 3. Robert Hoffman (he's really a good dancer and actor)!!!

Satoshi Tsumabuki
(Just look at the way he smiles can make me melt)

Too adorable...

Robert Hoffman
(He's undoubtedly the best dancer ever been)

Eventually, it's time to go back to school that means I'll have a lot of things (include homework and tests) to do... BUT, LIFE MUST GO ON!!! IT'D BE BETTER IF I STRUGGLE AND GIVE MY BEST NOW !!! ^^

YamaP No Sotsugyoushiki

2008-09-24T01:46:00.000-07:00

YamaP, Omedetou gozaimasu!!! Sotsugyoushiki no tame ni!!! All you have to do now is just wait for me to be able to marry you, Baby!!! Love you so much forever and ever!!! I'll be 17!!!

Happy Birthday CM has been realesed!!!

2008-09-17T00:05:00.000-07:00

Well, my classmates are busy talking about THIS GIRL...This girl really got our goat!!!!!

She said bad things about her own school friends in her blog!!!! She must have known that her blog isn't invisible, everyone can read it, including the people she often talks about..

I personally think THIS GIRL wanted to be famous, 'cause she felt she's not famous enough... Wakakakakakakakak!!! But, it will be much better if you use positive ways to make yourself popular, not by always critisizing the others...

Well, I don't have enough time to keep talking about her, 'cause she's really unimportant for me to be thought...

Kawaii deshou... Sono expression wa...^^

URESSSSSSSSSSSHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII desu!!! NEWS no HAPPY BIRTHDAY MV wa ririsu wo shimashita!!!!!!! ^^ Mitehoshiiiiii!!!!!

Aaaaaah, I couldn't do 2 questions on Math test today!!! I forgot how to solve them...I've worked hard on that, hope I can get much better score that I think I'll get... T_T

I really think YamaP looks more mature, sexier with his curly hairstyle... Love him so much... Much deeper than before... ^^

He's really famous ne... ^^

NEWS PACIFIC CONCERT wa Saikou da!!!

2008-09-03T00:23:00.000-07:00

Oh My God!!! I've watched NEWS PACIFIC CONCERT TOUR 2007-2008 for several times and I really adore it!!!!
They did it very well!!! NEWS no member no koto ga motto motto daisuki ni narimasu yo, atashi wa!!!!

Let's Play The Guitar!!!

They gave their best on every song, every move, every dance, every word... Love NEWS so much!!!
I can't tell the way they did it!!! The were just too amazing to be explained... Just watch it and you'll bewitched by them!!!

Devil No Egao!!!

YamaP looked so "yasashii" to the fans... Glad to have an idol like him!!! He was the very gentle member, he smiled evertime as he was singing the song... He tried to reach the fans' hands in order to touch them... Lucky ne, the girls whose hands were touched my him!!!
YamaP wa yappari atashi no ichiban taisetsu na hito desu!!!

Pacific Concert Tour 0708 Documentary

Well, I'm changing the topic to today cases :
1. I couldn't do Geography test very well (as I hoped) though I've spent more than 1/2 night to
read the material... T_T
2. I felt so sleppy during Math...
3. I hate THE STAR 'cause he gave us (my classmates and I) difficult questions during the
test... T_T

Tanoshikatta No Hi Deshita!!!

2008-08-25T00:08:00.000-07:00

Hai, kyou wa hontouni tanoshikatta desu!! Yasumi no toki ni atashi no sensei wa atashi no koto wo yobimashita. Saisho wa, "Nande kono sensei? Nani ga iite hoshii desuka?" to omoimashita. Demo, sensei no teburu no mae ni futari no onna ga imashita. "Aaah, senpai desuka?" to omoimashita... Kakkoi na.. Kurosagi ni naru toki

"Kanojo wa kimi no senpai desu. URSULA kara sotsugyoushimashita. Ima, APU ni benkyou shimasu," iwareta, Sensei wa.
Atashi wa "Aaaa, sou ka? Konnichiwa. Hajimemashite, Debby desu," to iimashita.
Atashi no senpai no namae wa SANTI desu. Senpai no soba ni hontouni Nihonjin ga tattemashita. Kanojo wa, "Atashi wa SATOMI desu," to iimashita.

Nani wo yondemashita??

"Satomi-san wa hontouni Nihonjin desuka?" "Hai, sou desu."
"Senpaitachi no atama wa mochiron ii desu ne. Senpai, APU ni haita toki wa, Senpai no kimochi wa dou deshitaka?"
"Aaaa... maaa... na..." Atashi no senpai wa Nihongo de hanasu koto ga jouzu janai to omoimashita.

Boushi wo kakettemasu!!! Kakkoiiii!!!!

Demo Satomi-san wa hontouni kawaikatta desu. Suki desu.
Ato de no yasumi ni, atashi wa Dhani to TEACHERS' ROOM e ikimashita. Satomi-san ni ai ni ikimashita. Yokatta, Satomi-san ga imashita!!!
Atashitachi wa iro iro no koto wo hanashimashita... Ureshikatta desu!!! ^^

SOCIAL CLASS ROCKS ON!!!

2008-08-17T00:12:00.000-07:00

Kyou wa atashi no kuni ni INDEPENDENCE DAY...
Soshite, sakki atasi wa oration wo yomimashita!!!! Yokatta!!!!
I did my job well!!!! My friends and teachers said that I was amazing...
My friends who also responsibled for the ceremony did their parts well... ^^

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH, I feel so RELIEVED!!!!
Seems like one of my burdens went out somewhere...
And, the grater news is that one of the sisters asked me if I can give her my oration to be published somewhere!!!! Sugoku kakoii ne!!!

Now, it's time to be focus for the final essay, school homeworks and tasks...
I know my future's waiting for me...
I really wanna know what I will be in the future, whom I will marry (I hope it'll be YamaP), what will my friends do, whether I can reach my goals...

But, I don't want this high school days end so fast...
I need more time to be with my friends, to enjoy these wonderful days, my last chance to enjoy school life... T_T
Love you, friends!!!

I Finally Did It!!!

2008-08-13T01:16:00.000-07:00

Yokatta, oration wa owarimashita!!! Sugoku ii na kimochi wo kanji shimasu!!!
Aaaa, 17 wa chikai desu ne!!!
Kinchou shimasu!!! Tottemo kinchou shimasu desu...
Dousho???

Kawaiiii!!!

Demo, atashi wa jibun wo shinjite!!! Mina-san mo, atashi no koto wo shinjite kudasai... Nande darou ne, atashi no Nihon go to Eigo wa mada heta desu... Atashi wa Eigo to Nihon go de hanasu koto ga jouzu ni naritai...!!!!

RyoPi to isshoni gohan wo tabemashou!!!

And finally I've finished my KERANGKA KARANGAN (I don't know the English word for this phrase)... ^^!!!!

Yokatta!!!

Motto motto daisuki!!!

Demo, ashita wa REKISHIGAKKU no tesuto ga arimasu...
Kantan ni narimasu you ni... ^^

Kyou wa shiawase no kimochi ga arimasu!!! Atarashii NEWS PACIFIC DVD no shashin ga moraimashita!!!

Gyuunyuu wo nomimashou!!

Being An Orator!!!

2008-08-08T00:24:00.000-07:00

Well, yeah, I was appointed to be the ORATOR on Independence Day : August, 17th, 2008...!!!!
Sugoii desu ne!!!
Well, I feel proud of that, but I also feel that I have a really big responsibilities to make the same success as my senior has made before...

Aaaaah, The Most Handsome Doctor Ever Been!!!

Besides, I also have so much work to do, AAAAAA, my final essay!!! I still can't find the material!!!!
I'll have so many tests next week!!!!

Well, it's not easy to be a Sanurian, of course...
But, as long as I enjoy every little thing I do, I do my best...
Yeah, I've just realized that...

Kawaii MassuPi

But in the meantime, I still want to add a language course into my "WHAT-I-WANNA-DO" list... Yeah, I wanna study one of European's languages, French for example...

Then, I'll have my schedule full...
Of course with the things I WANNA DO, not with the things I'M FORCED TO DO...

Kawaii TegoMassu

I enjoy my bussy days!!! ^^

Ha ha, Ohisashiburidesune!!!!

2008-08-06T00:29:00.001-07:00

Yup, I'm back, after losing a week without being on line!!!!
I'm happy to be here!!!
I like surfing the internet and waste hours only for that!!!

Hoho, I've got a new task, a hard one...
I have to make a speech in front of all the people of Saint Ursula Senior High School!!!
Yeah, a speech about nationalism...
I actually don't have that, but my teacher said that only by taking this task, I have shown that I have nationalism...

Muzukashiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii deshoooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuu!!!!
Sorede, atashi wa ippai hon wo zettai yomimasu!!!
About Bung Karno, about how to make a good speech, and so on...
I have to provide a special time only for that...

Well, I haven't got so many YamaP's pictures these days...
Demo, kare no shashin wo zettai sagashimasu, once I have time for that... ^^

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH, I still don't get the material for my final essay!!!! T_T

Kyou wa tanoshikatta desu!!!! ^^

2008-07-30T22:29:00.000-07:00

Chirigaku no jyuugyou wa tanoshikatta!!

Eigo mo, suugaku mo, zenbu no jyuugyou wa tanoshikatta!!!

Well, today's lessons were interesting... There's no classical lesson!!!

Kyou mo, Dhani wa atashi ni atarashi POTATO wo miseteimashita!!!

Omoshirokatta... Kyou mo, tomodachi to omoshiroi no koto wo shite imashita...

I eventually realized that "YamaP no koto akireru hodo suki ni natta...!!!"

Nande darou kono kimochi wa arimashitaka??

Kinou, ippai YamaP no video wo download shimashita!! Ureshikatta desu!

Demo, ima, nemui desu...

Maa, koko made... ^^

Yokatta! Idea Ga Getcha Shita!!!! ^^

2008-07-29T02:07:00.000-07:00

I finally got the idea about what topic I'm going to use for my final essay !!! Yeah, I'm not really sure about this topic, but I think it's a good one and I've found so many things that can be discussed about this topic on my final essay...

I really have to collect so much info about my topic!!!
If I can choose I want to tell everyone about atashi no sukina hito, YamaP no koto!!! ^^
Ne, ne, Ryo-chan to YamaP wa kawaii ne. Onaji STRAW kara nomimashita!!! ^^

Yeah, Weekend's Coming!!!

2008-07-24T22:06:00.000-07:00

Kono jikan wo mattemashita!!! Yeah, I love weekend...
Tomorrow's the day in which we start our Saturday classes. I love Saturday. But, I can't go to school tomorrow 'cause I have to join BTA test in 81 Public High School...

Nihongo kurasu ni kuru koto ga daisuki... Nihongo ga suki dakara...
Ryouri kurasu mo omoshiroi... Atashi wa taberu koto ga mo suki desu kara...
Ashita ne, atarashii tomodachi mo mimasu...
Demo, dekinai...

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, I haven't got the idea about my final essay topic!!!!!!!!!!
Dousho????????????????

Well, sooner or later, there will be so much homework to do, and I won't have enough time to think about it... So I really have to provide special time in order to think about that...

OMG, I'm getting older!! I'm going to be an adult soon !!!
I miss my youth !!!! T_T

She hasn't come yet...

2008-07-23T00:06:00.000-07:00

Well, I've been so glad to know she would come to school today, but, she didn't get the earlier plane to go back here...
So, she'll be on her way home today at night...
Hope I can see her tomorrow...

Sakki, atashi wa Dhanika ni iwareta, "Moshi atashi wa Nihon ni aru daigaku ni haitara, ichiban tsutaetai tomodachi wa kimi desu yo."
Kanojo wa ureshikatta...
Soshite, YamaP no member card wo agemashita... ^^
URESHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

Kyou wa ne, suugaku no homework wo zettai tsukaemasu you ni...
Demo ne, shitai koto wa mada takusan ga arimasu yo, besides making homework...
Kono essay mo homework desu...

Final Essay no idea wa mada mitsukaranai !!! T_T
Dou ?????
Dareka tasukete kudasai!!!! T_T

JJ no koto wo tanoshimi tanoshimi!!!! ^^

2008-07-22T00:37:00.000-07:00

Well, I can't really describe today as a really wonderful day, but I'm really happy to know that I can see one of my best friends tomorrow at school!!!!
Yeah, kanojo no namae wa JJ desu!!! Kanojo wa hontouni omoshiroi desu kara, suki desu!!!
She has just come back from Aussie on Monday... sorede, ashita zettai aimasu you ni!!!

I'm still confused about what I wanna write for my final essay...
I haven't got the idea...
My mom's now in Bali, so I can't discuss that with her...
Though I've read so many books and newspapers to find out an interesting topic about INDONESIAN LANGUAGE, I still can't get it...

Ooooh, there's not enough time to think about this and that!!!!!!!
I've to be focus!!!! But, there's always a special time to think about him, YAMASHITA TOMOHISA a.k.a YamaP!!!!
'Cause he's on of my life sources! CODE BLUE no full-episode wo hontou mite hoshii yo!!

That's for today... ^^